At the beach today, just sitting in the water with the dogs, beach "security guard" walks over. He's maybe in his late twenties and seems friendly enough, so we make small talk for a second, then this:
Him: Be careful out there. Are you here with someone?
Me: Yes [looking at my dogs]. We come here all the time. I don't swim by the reef anyway.
Him: I mean besides your dogs?
[I ignore the question, hoping he'll get the hint.]
Him: Where did you park?
Me: [Thinking maybe he has the authority to ask as part of his job] Over there - Why? Is that a problem?
Him: [Shrugs.] It's fine... You aren't here with anyone? Your husband or your fiancé?
Me: I'm here with my dogs. [In fact, there are only 3 other people on the beach, and they clearly are not with me.]
Him: Why isn't your husband or fiancé with you?
Me: I came here to be alone [hint hint] with my dogs.
Him: Do you have a husband or fiancé?
[I pause, just to let him sit in the awkwardness for a second.]
Me: That's a very personal question.
Him: I was just wondering because... usually I see people here with their husbands and their dogs.
Me: Uh huh.
Him: But you're just here alone, so I was just checking.
Me: Right. Well, clearly I'm fine.
Him: I guess you're just independent [smirking].
Me: Yeah... gotta go give them some water so... [walking away].
If you're a man reading this, you may not understand why it's worth a blog post. If you're a woman, on the other hand, you know. We deal with this shit all of our lives, on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. It's more than an annoyance too. It destroys the atmosphere because your guard has to go up. Why did he want to know where my car was parked? Is he going to try to follow me? Or will he be out there when I get to my car?
Of course, I push those thoughts aside and try to enjoy the day, but I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, checking to see if he's watching me. Yeah, he's probably just an awkward guy. He's not local; maybe he grew up in a culture where men and women don't interact much until marriage, so he just doesn't know how to talk to women. I don't know.
But one thing is certain: my marital status was none of his damned business.
